Understanding your local hermit!

Being a hermit in today's world is difficult and often frustrating. However, being an extrovert who is friends with an introvert can be equally frustrating. Here I will propose a few tips and advice when dealing with your "local hermit."

First let us examine "your local hermit." What do I mean? Well by local I mean in a sense of being in your world. This article is focused on how to deal with "your" more introverted friends. Hermit as in the sense of being introverted and possibly a homebody.

1. Do not get upset at the hermit for not taking you up on that invite to go out anywhere public and full of people.

What you hear: "I don't like you and don't want to hang out with you"
What they mean: "I don't have enough energy to deal with the public today" Or "I don't feel like/ like that sort of activity"

Explanation: Typically introverts do not enjoy being in big groups of people and can often feel uncomfortable in those situations. Your introverted friend may not take you up on every offer to hang out because of this fact. It is not that they do not enjoy hanging out with you, in fact you should rarely question the introverts standing with you. If they consider you a friend then you are their friend and they enjoy your company. Introverts are very straight forward about friendship because they do not feel the need to be social or have many friends they keep in touch with only those they actually like and only call those people friends. Try inviting your hermit to something that is small and quiet or better yet ask if you can come over to their abode! More often then not it is very difficult to drag the hermit out of the comfort of their own sanctuary and away from their many projects so if you ask to come over then you are much more likely to get a "yes" response because you are not dragging them away from anything at that point. Then after you are there it is much easier to persuade them to leave because they will typically feel the need to entertain you and will quickly realize that everything in their abode is a "single player" activity.

2. Do not be surprised when your hermit shuts down around your friends.

What you hear: "I don't like your friends"
What they mean: "I don't know these people so I am going to observe and "learn" them before interacting"

Explanation: Introverts have the tendency to be very good listeners and are often interested in learning more about the people they are around before opening up to them. If you bring an introvert around your friends don't expect them to jump into the conversation as they might one on one with you. In fact it is best ease them into your friend circle by introducing them a couple at a time so that when you do invite them to a bigger gathering they are much more likely to come and jump right in because they already have the majority of the people figured out. Think back to when you befriended your introvert, I bet it took them a while to warm up to you and I bet at first they were the awkward person in the corner of some social gathering or perhaps you met through a mutual interest or a class project, something that allowed for one on one time. Try to remember how they became your friend and introduce them to your friends in a similar fashion.


And here I will have to say To be continued as I have lost my train of thought (probably shouldn't write blog posts while also trying to do work)