It seems to me that the concept of the "little white lie" has gotten wildly out of hand. Of course I am all about dealing with situations compassionately however, there is such a thing as ....oh how can I put this....Lying your pants off. Also people seem to think that by leaving information out or just not mentioning it they are not lying. This is a terrible idea that will get you into just as much trouble as straight up lying.
Your spoken word has power. When you make plans with someone it is only polite to tell the truth. The truth about what time you are available. The truth about wanting to actually hang out and also the truth about plans changing. In example... Making plans only to be unreachable the day of said plans is lying. If you say you are going to do something then do it. If for some reason you can't then own up to it and tell the person. I can tell you that 99% of the time I am ever mad at anyone is when they break plans with me and fail to let me in on what is going on. It is among the worst feelings in the world to wait around for a phone that is never going to ring. Especially when it would be so easy to call and just say "Hey I can't make it today."
It seems to me one of the biggest instigators of lying is when peoples feelings are at stake. We tend to want to please everyone all the time. Realizing that this is simply and impossible task is the first step. Being responsible and telling the truth in the first place is the only way to minimize possible upset. One example of this that comes to mind is not leading people on romantically. When you are upfront about how you feel and where you are then things are less likely to become confusing and also the persons involved are less likely to feel misled. If you say first off "I don't want a relationship" or "I like you but not that way" of course the person who has feelings for you is going to be a little disappointed but it's MUCH better then several months later finding out after they have had time to get their hopes up.
The ability to communicate is one of the world biggest gifts and responsibilities. Lack of communication is just as bad as misleading someone. When you leave out parts of information thinking that the other person will never know the difference and then said person finds out that you left something out....that seems fishy doesn't it. Even if it is really nothing. Say you want to go hang out with a friend of the opposite sex who you have no interest in sexually. Your boyfriend/girlfriend asks what you did last night. You say "Just went out with a friend." You intentionally avoid putting a gender on said friend because you are worried your significant other will think you cheated on them. Then later they find out who you went out with. They are much more likely to get upset because they are going to wonder why you left out that one little detail. People can be remarkably understanding when you are honest in the first place.
Now I completely understand that sometimes fessing up can seem terrifying and really you would rather not deal with it. Unfortunately it's your own fault for not being careful enough with your words in the first place. This is why you must always be mindful of what you say and how you act around others. Try not to double book yourself and always be considerate of other peoples schedules. Your life will become much less complicated when you don't have to keep track of a thousand little lies.
People are far to often careless with their words. I feel that this is one of those things that can be easily changed and make the world a much better place. Honesty is always the best way to go about things. It is apart of doing your best in all instances. When you are honest you can feel better about yourself because you don't have to fear someone finding out your secret.
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