Finding the Beauty in the Break Down.

If there is something that I have learned from reading modern day psychology that has seemingly held true (at least so far) is that holding in your feelings is the most destructive habit that the mass populace has taken to. I think that allowing yourself to feel the way you do at the moment you feel it is a great habit to take up. However I do not mean that you should allow yourself to take out how you feel on others. The best way to deal with an emotion is to stop, allow yourself the fully feel everything that comes with that emotion. Then once you have felt it you have sat and thought about it and why you feel that way (even if you have no clue at the time) you have to do something to express it (release it) sometimes this takes an action such as screaming, crying, or dancing your brains out in your room. Sometimes it is as easy as consciously releasing yourself from said emotion.

Now often it helps to talk it out with someone. I have learned (from being very bad about this) that should you feel the need to talk out your feelings with someone you need to be aware of said person and where they are at. You must make sure that it is in no way burdening the other person. Before you storm into a room or frantically call someone and before they can even eek out a hello you start ranting and raving about whatever you need to calm yourself down, ask them about their day, and ASK them if they are in a position to help you.

Far to often we end up burdening others and our relationships with others by simply trying to release our emotions but we don't stop and think that it is possible that the person you are confiding in my not be able to help you at that time. Not that they don't want to and not that they don't care but every day is filled with countless of perspectives. Just because you spent your day at work doesn't mean that they didn't also. Just because they may seem unworried or untethered by something doesn't mean that they don't have a million things on their mind. You adding one more thing can really be the straw that breaks the camels back. Even though they might not show it you could be damaging your relationship with that person. (Let me add again that I am still working on this and am in no way an expert on how to rid yourself of this so when I figure it all out I will let you know).

Now there is such a thing on dwelling on your problems too much. You need to know when you have beaten a dead guilt horse to the ground. If emotions keep surfacing then you need to find out what the source of the problem is and address your mindset about the source. You don't have to make everything better you just have to change your mind about what happened. I think I talked a bit about before about how we constantly persecute ourselves over and over without any sense that justice has been fulfilled. We are cruel to ourselves because we are too stubborn to forgive. We are too stubborn to allow our minds to be flexible. If you find yourself consistently upset about something in the past and you just can't shake that feeling then take a step back and look at every perspective.

Say you had a bad break up. At the end of it you hate the person.  You cannot shake the feelings of hatred and sadness about the failure of the relationship. Instead stop and take a look at the wonderful experience you had when you were falling in love. Relish the memories of all the good things and weigh out the bad things. Repeat the entire time you are remembering that "nothing lasts forever" "Everything changes" Don't punish yourself for the "failing" when you never did. Things simply changed. This is natural. This is how life works. Think about what you learned from the experience. You are one step closer to figuring it out. You now know another way that doesn't work another thing about yourself that you didn't see before.

Every single time we fall down and every time we pull ourselves up we realize that nothing is ever impossible. There is always a way. There is always a natural path and no matter what path we try to take we will always end up back to that natural way. So really there is nothing to worry about. Take care of what needs to be done in the present and don't bother to think about what you "should be" "need to do" "want" in the future. The future is a made up thing. We are constantly in the now and that is all that matters.

We are raised to constantly plan for the future. Constantly, every single minute of our supposed "future" is laid out and we are told we have to decide right now! Damn it! Figure out what you want to be when you grow up! Find yourself a mate! Have babies! Have a Life! Do what you dream! You must pick your LIFELONG dream right now! What do you want to dream of for the rest of your life? This is an absurd question that anyone should ever have to answer. Sure you should figure out what you like to do and go towards what you like in everything you try BUT that doesn't mean you have to like it forever. One of the fantastic things about the mind is our ability to change it. Nothing lasts forever. Everything will change.

I apologize for the lack of photos in the post. Nothing seemed to say what I needed and well this was entirely unplanned. Maybe a little too personal to distract from it with pretty pictures of someone posed in a nice way.

I deeply and sincerely want to leave you with this thought. It is a thought that I imagine someone leaving me. It is a thought that I leave myself in times where I have come to the realization that I am able to leave myself with thoughts, times that I realize that talking to yourself and thinking to yourself and giving yourself advice is actually a really good idea.I want you to have no doubt, whoever you are (it doesn't matter who you are because for this brief moment when you were reading this stupid blog you were with me and we have just shared more then most people I have spoken to) I love you. I love you more then a billion languages can express. I want your happiness more then anything. I want you to believe that no matter what is going on, you are the wind, the sea, the earth and the stars to me. I hope that made you smile =)